Thursday, February 28, 2008

LAST WEEKEND [Feb 22, 2008]

LAST WEEKEND [Feb 22, 2008]

Last weekend began Friday morning for me. At 11am, I had a date with Calculus, and she was a mean bitch, who likes to play with my mind. One hour passes with me and her arguing over who is better, and our time was up. Time for my next date: Alcohol.

I begin packing my things, set off to the ferry, then caught a ride with Mr. CrossFit [CF] himself, where we try figure out what the plan is.. and it went a little something like this..

1.Get Alcohol.
2.Get drunk.

Easy plan, right? Of course. Although CF was DD for the night, that surely didn’t stop me. I just got ass raped by Calculus, therefore Alcohol deserves sloppy seconds. We make it back to the apartment. Bottles begin to open up, mix drinks are made [with the occasional Dissarrono straight up, double], and the asian glow sets in. Everyone who’s everyone shows up, and the saga continues, drink after drink. Now, at this point, I am still Marc-James, meaning I may be a bit louder than usual, but I know what I’m saying.

We pack into the car and make our way to the club. First thought as we enter the club..

“I just got in for free! Mother fuckers, this is going to be a good night!.. where’s my drink?”

I spot the booth, set my jacket down, and wait.. “Hey Marc! Are you gonna get a drink?! C’mon, we’re getting one.” .. BINGO… “Hey, what do you want? Sex on the beach?”

“Sure.” One Sex on the Beach coming up.. *gulp* What the fuck?! This is gross.. Oh well, the words ‘shitfaced’ and ‘gross’ go perfect together.

It’s back to the booth where someone hands me a cup of champagne. AWESOME, cause this will get me fucked up even quicker. *gulp* *gulp*.. Aw shit, my stomach hurts, I knew I should have eaten more. Me and CF decide to get some fresh air upstairs where he introduces me to one of his friends [forgot her name, but she was cute.. I mean, she had a nice personality]. Stomach pain is gone. Time to party. At this point, Marc-James has called it a night, and Buzzed-Marc joins the party.

I’m feeling good. Music is loud, the taste in my mouth is switching from champagne to Cran-Orange-Pineapple-Vodka, and my sight is getting clearer and clearer for some reason. I think that’s what happens when you drink a lot; you tend to see EVERYTHING, which is sorta good, yeah? Anyways, I knock a few random drinks back, and get a drink spilt on my pants [its okay, she was drunk.. a little touchy though, but who’s complaining ;) ]. I decide to visit another booth where another friend is celebrating her birthday. In a nutshell..

“Hey guys! Happy birthday FASA family!.. oh what, picture?! Sure! So uhh.. I think I left my drink here.. Yeah! That one, the one that’s full.. YUM. What is thi--- oh man.. I think I’m.. yeah, I’m FADED.. AWESOME. Ooh, birthday girl isn’t dancing.. Time for lapdance from the king of faded-lapdances.. . … okay, enough of that. Where’d my posse go? Peace out FASA, I got a train to catch, and it’s headed towards a dark tunnel called DRUNK.”

By this point, I’m borderline Drunk-Marc.. because I’m sure more happened but I just can’t remember. Success. I make it back to the booth. “Why is everyone sitting dow—hey, more drinks on the table. *snag*.. *gulp*..YUM.” I get a few dances in with the ladies, and before I know it, it’s time to depart from this debacle, and head back to the apartment. Oh, don’t forget your jacket smarty pants! Jacket; CHECK.

Now, I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine who hardly comes out. His name is Drunk-Marc.. loud, stupid, foul-mouth, funny [or so I hear], and just down right ready to party. We make it outside with everyone, and the first thing Drunk-Marc decides to do.. play one of the greatest games EVAARRrrr..

“Hey buddy, have you met my friend ‘Joy’ ?!” .. “Hey, this is my friend Joy!” … “Hey man! That’s my friend Joy!”

“Marc! Stop that! Hiiii… yeah that’s me.. okay.. MARC! STOP!”

On our way to the car, I think I blackout.. meaning I don’t remember, but from what I heard, we were giving eachother piggy-back rides all at the same time. But we still make it to the car. Again, I blackout, but from pictures and testimonials, we were taking very weird pictures and complaining about how fast CF was driving. We make it home safely. On our way up the apartment, ‘Legs’ decides to knock on the wrong door.. SHIT. Luckily we’re asian so we know how to run like immigrants.

Home safe. Again, my memory has left me and this time is quite fragmented.

I’m not sure but I think I threw up at this moment, cause I don’t recall seeing food in the toilet yet.
I see 3 people at the front door.. “Marc! Come sign for the pizza!” okay, first of all, I don’t remember saying I’d pay. I don’t even remember anyone ordering pizza!.. oh well, pizza is ZOMG-awesome when drunk.. *I hand them my card* “where do I slide this thing?” … “No, you just sign the receipt.”… “Oh, okay.." *leaning against the wall with my head down* "So wait, $33… $36. is that enough for tip?” Whatevers. We got our pizzas. I grab the gallon bottle of ranch! It’s on like Donkey Kong. When I'm drunk, I always tend to DRENCH my pizza with ranch, everyone thinks it's gross, but they still let me go to town with it. I think I finished one, and then make my way back to the bathroom. Throw up #2. Bday-Girl comes to see how I’m doing. This is where it gets good and bad.. and good again.. *I’m adlibbing from what I kind of remember.. also, it makes sense.*

“Uuughh.. that was gross”
“Are you okay?”
“Fuck Bday-Girl! What the fuck?! Why aren’t you drunk?!”
“Fuck you Marc!”
“No! Fuck you! Fuck.. Bitch. I hate you now.”
“Good. I hate you.”

*sticking my middle finger up* “yeah okay. Fuck. Fuck you.. Fuck.. Fucking bitch.”

I sit back down. Maybe finish another ranch with pizza. Then ‘Lazy’ waves a pizza in my face.. “mmm, it’s soooo good… you know you want some..”

“Excuse me…” *raaaaaaalllllppphhh* Throw up #3.

Bday-Girl and Drunk-Marc exchange words again.
*rubbing back* .. “Aww.. are you okay? You’ll be okay..”
“Dammit Bday-Girl.. I hate you.. I hope you’re enjoying this.. Fuck.”
”HAH.. actually I am.”

*middle finger goes up again* "Fuck, Bday-Girl.."
“Fuck you Marc! Fuck!.. this is too fun.”
“oh yeah! I hope you’re enjoying this.. Fuck.. Fucking bitch.”
[yeah, I wouldn’t doubt that I repeated myself..]

The last image I see is everyone sitting by the TV watching Eddie Murphy while I pass out on the couch on the other side of the room. From what I heard, they kept asking “Is Marc still awake?” and I would answer “YES. MARC IS STILL AWAKE” .. then I supposedly got up and had the decency of changing my clothes into sensible sleep wear, because I woke up the next morning saying “What the fuck.. where’d my clothes go?!”

At least the bucket next to me was empty, meaning I’m AWESOME.


PS: for those who were here this night, please feel free to jog my memory, or input anything you remember. Thanks.


Sheena said...

As drunk as you were this night.. I'm surprised that you remembered a lot of that. You are a true Gemini because you just told an awesome story.. hahahah. Foreal though, I could see it all happening as I read it. And you were hella happy that you got in for free.. hahahha like a little boy in a toy store. Hella funny.

Btw, this is my friend Joy. Thanks for introducing a bunch of drunk men to me that night, hahaha.