Tuesday, April 22, 2008

boys & girls, not men & women

I can't sleep. I got tired earlier in the day after coming home from the gym, so I decided to take a little nap, only 1 hour, no biggy. It's 3:30 in the morning, and I think I can blame it on the fact that I took a nap AND had caramel macchiato espresso around 9:15pm. I tried laying down in bed already; no luck. I do this thing where I close my eyes and think randomly for about 10 minutes, then I open them to see if I'm tired. Usually I forget to open them, meaning I'm sleeping, or I open them slowly, another sign of my body telling me I'm tired. This time.. this time I open my eyes and I feel like it's mid-afternoon except its dark. Might as well make use of this time.. BLOG.

Not too long ago I had a discussion with a friend about messing with "girls/boys" and looking for "women/men." Being in our early 20's [thank Gaaahhd it's still early], we fit in the area where some of us finally mature, yet there are most of us who still act like kids. We hear it all the time, of people saying

"UGH! why must I always deal with BOYS?! I need a REAL MAN in my life!" or "I'm so tired of these GIRLS.. I need a WOMAN in my life."

It's tough separating the two maturity levels from each other, because so many factors come into play. Age, friends, job, goals, qualities, hobbies, free time, likes/dislikes, interests, etc. The list can go on, depending on the perspective. For me, I find myself jumping over the fence from time to time. I feel like I live in an area where maturity takes longer to process for most of us. But at the same time, I'm comfortable with it, seeing that I still do the same things I would do as a 'BOY'.. I may not be MAN from peoples perspective, but I like to think I'm on the right path. But I'm sure many think exactly the way I do, so I'm no different than anyone else. But there are times when you can truly tell who is "maturing" rather than "growing up," which are two totally different things.

In a nut shell.. "Growing up" would be aging with time, getting a job or going to school, and just coasting through life. "Maturing" includes the same, but ALSO a change in the quality of yourself. You think differently, do what's in the best interest for your future, face problems head strong, being responsible for your own actions, focusing on the important things in life.. You know, pretty much cutting down on the bullshit and being REAL.

One thing that stands out the most, and its only because I've seen it many times recently, and I'm sorry for singling out the ladies [or 'girls'] out there, is how they extend a relationship knowing that the idea of breaking up is closing in on their time. I'm sure guys do it too, but right now, I've only seen ladies doing this. I don't understand it. If you know it's going to happen, MATURE already and get it over with. Once you ask yourself

"Is this relationship worth it? Is it going where I want it to go? I don't know what to do.."

and you've done this on many occasions, you have the answer already! You just don't want to realize it! Extending the time makes it difficult on both parties [and third parties, if there are..]. Both are bound to get hurt, so why make it harder by waiting until a certain moment. THERE IS NO GOOD TIME TO BREAK UP! BREAK UPS ARE ALWAYS BAD [unless its mutual]. Today you may be thinking it's time to break up, but Dude might be thinking its time to take it to the next level by tomorrow.

We only learn from taking action. We always ask ourselves many things through life, yet maybe 80% of the time those questions become "What If.." that you get to spend the rest of your life thinking about! Great, right?! Not. I'm not saying to go and do EVERYTHING you always wondered about, but be MATURE. Quit with the bullshit and deal with what's going to come of certain situations, rather than waiting it out, like it's going to be easier the longer you let it sit, like its a hot cup of tea.. It's not. It's water on a hot stove; The earlier you take it off, the more easy it will be to consume, rather than when you drink hot ass water and you burn your taste buds off and have to endure the pain and shitty feeling you get after [wow, that was a better metaphor than i expected]. I've had my "taste buds burnt" and got the "shitty feeling after" and it sucks. It took LONG to realize what happened, but I think I've come to terms with it, and I like to think I have a better understanding of it. Of course, there's still a small part of me that is bitter, but it's much smaller than what it used to be.

I hate writing this long. I forget the moral of this stuff.. This is where it gets a bit random. What's the title again? Oh yeah, boys/girls..men/women.. So yeah, I'm not hating on the boys/girls. I'm just saying if you want to find a man/woman, then act like one. You only find those who are in the same boat as you. If you end up with a boy, you probably acted like a girl. If you try and change yourself, you might end up with another person trying to mature also. Maturing in a relationship is possible, just as long as YOU mature. You and your partner would/should feed off each others presence, therefore mature together. Monkey see, monkey do, yeah? I like to think so. I had a partner once, and we matured together. Along the way I became childish, she fed off of my presence, and now I long for who she USED to be [and still is on the inside, I know it. Cause I know I'm still the same]. So do yourself a favor, and think about what you do. Mature as you grow up. I'll do the same.

**Damn, not sleepy yet. just hungry :(



Sheena said...

Ah man.. good subject. I don't have time to put in my two cents, but we briefly talked about this.. :) Just thought I'd come by and say you're well on your way to becoming a "real man". ;)