Monday, January 28, 2008

Confidence.. the bull with horns of steel

Ah yes.. Good ol' CONFIDENCE. The one thing women like, and the one thing "good guys" want. This topic for the night is up for discussion because of recent talks with friends. We've contemplated our lives as bachelors/bachelorettes sharing moments and discussions of past relationships, future relationships, and present "relationships" .. so i decided to take it upon myself to OUTPUT my INPUT.

Now, first of all, I haven't had much interaction with the other gender due to a recent long-term relationship [no regrets there tho!] but from what I have seen and learned, confidence is VERY important. not only relationship wise, but also throughout life. Meeting THAT girl/guy, job opportunities, interviews, etc. but the most difficult confidence area is meeting other people. I think that once you got that one down, your ready for anything.

Ladies, let me say "I hate you." why? because you have NO IDEA how easy you have it!.. if you know you look good or maybe even just alright, then the chances of guys thinking you look good is even better. so that should be a confidence builder already. So if you are worried about "Does that guy want to talk to me? how come he hasn't said anything?! omg, is my hair ugly?!", stop worrying and step up. I don't know about other guys, but from my perspective, it's AWESOME when the girl has the confidence to come and talk to me *cue Jodeci song* .. some may like the whole idea of chivalry but times changed so help us guys out, okay? BUT, if you like the idea of the guy coming up to you, do us a favor, and give us some sort of sign! a wink, a smile, a little wave.. guys are not as smart/confident/ballsy as you may want us to be.. and if they are, then they are either dicks/players, or if your lucky, actually HAVE confidence [which is a small percentage of us, no lie]. Bottom line, step out.. or help out.

Now guys... *sigh* where do I begin.. how about with me. might as well put myself out there. Pshh, I got nothin' to lose.. I myself have lost many wars against confidence.. many of you may know me as being the "shy guy" or "quiet".. I'm not gonna lie, I still come off as that, but now that I've have gone through many situations and have done NOTHING about it, it's time to change it up. Like I said, I've had little experience in this field so take my ideas/opinions with a grain of salt.. like, take a grain of salt, then smash it with something.. yeah, that small, okay? okay good.

Alright, we've established my situation pretty much.. So here's what I have to say.. now, this is going to be somewhat short and sweet because I know that long blogs are a bitch to read [no joke, if you blog long, the chances of me reading it are very small, unless your opening is interesting]

Confidence with guys.. lets establish the obvious things: 1: dress to impress + hygeine, 2: rejection = learning, 3: start low, aim high [lower your standards at first]. if you don't know what I'm talking about, then stop reading, and figure it out.

The biggest factor in confidence: YOUR BALLS. not literally of course. but just the idea to be bold and well.. confident. There are three things [from what I believe and have learned] are the only three things you need to know:

1: Think it.. Know what you are going to say.. you should already be comfortable in this area after much rejection/learning. If this is still difficult, I find it quite easy after a few shots with the buddies.. I'm not gonna lie, alcohol is your friend, just dont abuse it or it will be your enemy. You don't go into a game not knowing how to play.. duh!

2: Believe it.. Believe that you will come out on top, rather than be rejected. I like to think that women like it when men come up to them with bold statements.. "can I call you sometime?" is changed to "lemme call you sometime.".. "do you want to dance?" becomes "hey, let's dance." .. bottom line: take control.. control = confidence.

3: Sell it.. Your 2/3rd's of the way there! you know what you're going to say.. you believe in yourself.. now USE IT. its that simple. Sell sell sell.. you are up to your neck in reasons you are the good guy, and it's time to make room for women in your life, so sell!

Now I know there's a lot more to it, but like I said, I'm not one to type up a book. So what have I learned? The good ones are as shy as us guys, so make the first move. And for our other good halves, HELP US OUT. like women, nothing is more attractive [hmm.. maybe not nothing ;) ] than a LADY WITH CONFIDENCE.. let me say that one more time.. LADY WITH CONFIDENCE. come and talk to us! or just me, come talk to me ;) .. or at least meet us "good guys" half way, and give us clues.. games are fun, but clues are like a scavenger hunt.. the more clues, the more exciting, the better the outcome for the both of us! Also, HAVE FUN WITH IT, meaning, don't take EVERY interaction seriously.. I like to think that rejection stories are better than the ones that actually work.. cause with rejection, everyone wins: you learn + your buddies get a good laugh... when you get lucky: you win + your buddies hate you [not to your face of course] when you score.

my work is done here.. tune in next time for "why women are such bitches!"... SYKE! gotcha. shes only a bitch if her personality is horrible ;)



AB said...

word. it's "failing forward". i've been there and have written about all my experiences. the problem is that i'm stubborn as hell.

but i'm up for a challenge if someone's doing it at the same time